Betsey Nash, Strasbaugh
Mark Twain may have overstated when he said “All you need in this life is ignorance and confidence; then success is secure,” but recent studies show he wasn’t exaggerating by much. Ideally an employee would have both confidence and competence.
On May 5, I hosted 55 business owners and managers, sang a song from the Sound of Music, acted out and discussed the role that confidence plays in our business relationships. Most striking – well, besides the singing – was the much talked-about “Confidence Gap” first revealed in a 2014 Atlantic article; women, on average, rate significantly less confident in business setting than their male counterparts.
In salary negotiations women generally ask for 30 percent lower salary and don’t go after promotions or new jobs unless they are completely confident they can ace every single item on the job description.
When female test subjects answered every question on a test that involved reorganizing 3-D images in a computer screen they did just as well as the men. When they were not forced to answer every question, they scored worse, and when they were asked to report their confidence in their answer, women’s scores dropped another 5 percent while men’s rose 13 percent.
The research is as shocking as it is clear: women and men who have the same competence do not have the same confidence in their abilities. Lack of confidence is part of what keeps women out of those executive suites.
Why is this so? The authors of the Confidence Gap site research that point to both nature and nurture.
The question on the minds of the attendees was “What can we do about it?” “How can we help our less confident employees (men and women) feel, or at least project, more confidence?”
First, we need to support our strong co-workers.
The Tall Poppy Syndrome, happens when someone who appears to rise above the rest is a target to be “chopped down” so as not to make others looks bad. This syndrome, long recognized world-wide, is part of the culture in Australia, and an attendee who grew up Down Under attested to that with a personal story about her time in school.
We women have to put aside our fears of being seen as pushy, aggressive and even labeled the b-word. Take action! Studies show that experience, even of failure, helps build confidence. Learn to use stronger words and sentences; stop apologizing for asking a question. When boys are growing up they learn that there is life after screw-ups. Girls take criticism personally; not as a comment about their behavior, but about them. Accept that you know your stuff. Enough with this “I was in the right place at the right time” BS. Notice these thoughts as they hold you back, and move ahead anyway.
We all must agree to mentor and support our employees so that they may grow in confidence as they grow in competence.
Only then can we all sing along with Maria Von Trapp:
“So, let them bring on all their problems,
I’ll do better than my best.
I have confidence
They’ll put me to the test!
But I’ll make them see
I have confidence in me.”
Prior to establishing a successful HR consulting firm, Nash HR Services, Betsey Nash spent 10 years with The Home Depot in HR before being recruited by Bed Bath and Beyond: she is the current HR manager for Strasbaugh.